The Monatone Song
Words and Music: Traditional; This arrangement my Michael Smurthwaite
Description: As sung by the East High boys Quartett, 1958-59, and by the Uruguayan Mission Mormon Modern Quartett, 1961-63: pre-song banter: three sing B flat Ooo, as the Monatone sings some way off note. then the three mimic cranking his tummy while singing B flat in the Monotone’s ear. He brings the wrong note up gradually getting closer until finally reaching the correct B flat. They his back, congratulating the Monataone for finally getting it right. Then they all sing the song plaintively.
You’ve heard the simple melodies that ev’rybody sings.
The sweet and soothing harmonies that lilting music brings.
Now it is our turn, and we would like to do a similar thing,
but we can’t you see, Un fortunately, I’M A MON-A-TONE!
I sing my song on a single note. Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
Only one note comes out of my throat, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
My voice will neither rise nor fall, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
I cannot change my pitch at all, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
The other three men push back the monatone and sing:
We hope it does not bother you to hear this silly tune,
The Monatone pushes himself back in front and with great passion sings:
BUT I CAN’T HELP IT IF IT DOES, ‘CAUSE I JUST LOVE TO CROON!
(Repeat the song, then the ending: There is no hope for him on earth, He’s a monotone by birth!