The Monatone Song
Words and Music: Traditional; This arrangement my Michael Smurthwaite
Voices: TTBB
Description: As sung by the East High boys Quartett, 1958-59, and by the Uruguayan Mission Mormon Modern Quartett, 1961-63: pre-song banter: three sing B flat Ooo, as the Monatone sings some way off note. then the three mimic cranking his tummy while singing B flat in the Monotone’s ear. He brings the wrong note up gradually getting closer until finally reaching the correct B flat. They his back, congratulating the Monataone for finally getting it right. Then they all sing the song plaintively.
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Lyrics:
You’ve heard the simple melodies that ev’rybody sings.
The sweet and soothing harmonies that lilting music brings.
Now it is our turn, and we would like to do a similar thing,
but we can’t you see, Un fortunately, I’M A MON-A-TONE!
I sing my song on a single note. Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
Only one note comes out of my throat, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
My voice will neither rise nor fall, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
I cannot change my pitch at all, Tra-la-la-la-la La La La.
The other three men push back the monatone and sing:
We hope it does not bother you to hear this silly tune,
The Monatone pushes himself back in front and with great passion sings:
BUT I CAN’T HELP IT IF IT DOES, ‘CAUSE I JUST LOVE TO CROON!
(Repeat the song, then the ending: There is no hope for him on earth, He’s a monotone by birth!